Draft Dodger Rag

phil ochs

now I'm just a typical american boy from a typical american town
I believe in God and in senator Dodd and in keeping old Castro down
and when it came my time to serve I knew "better dead than red"
but when I got to my old draft board • buddy this is what I said :

sarge I'm only eighteen • I've got a ruptured spleen and I always carry a purse
I've got eyes like a bat and my feet are flat and my asthma's getting worse
yes I think of my career and my sweetheart dear and my old poor invalide aunt
besides I ain't no fool : I'm a-going to school and I'm working in a dee-fence plant

I've got a dislocated disc and a wracked up back • I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
and when the bombshells hit I get epileptic fits and I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
I've got the weakness woes • I can't touch my toes • I can hardly reach my knees
and if the enemy came close to see I would probably start to sneeze

oh I hate Chou-en-Lai and I hope he dies but one thing you gotta see
is that someone gotta go over there and that someone isn't me
so I wish you well sarge : give'em hell! kill me a thousand or so
and if you ever get a war without blood and gore I'll be the first to go!